That girl I used to be

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

I've been thinking a lot about that girl I  used to be...

So innocent and wide-eyed and searching for fame... searching for love, searching for herself.
Dating the wrong guys, chasing dreams, doing bold and exciting things, making movies, making bad choices, jumping on airplanes and just forgetting everyone and everything behind me. Still believing in love, but doubtful, so doubtful. Looking for something I thought I'd find in the twinkle of the Hollywood sign, or flashbulb of a photograph, red-famed carpet, my name on a screen.

Then something happened.
My twenties became my thirties. I grew up and looked in the mirror and finally saw myself. And for the first time, I liked what I saw. Because I liked me. And that's when I found the guy. That's when building a family, something I always longed for, was a reality. That's when it happened. That's when I was home.

I can't help but wonder what my forties will look like. (Let's not get ahead of ourselves here, I still have several years to go...) but instead of dreading the age that used to feel so old, somehow this natural progression makes me believe that things will get even better. Imagine that. Better with age.


And why fear that?


  1. Tanya, this contact sheet is beautiful. It's where your past lives. And I think we met right around this time--(I always gauge time from your haircuts)...

    You were young and excited and full of vitality. And you still are. You're just a more centered, focused, version of happy today. And it shows, it really does. I love you and am so proud of you, friend!

  2. I'm pregnant and hormonal, don't make me cry! Love you, friend. xo

  3. aw this is such a lovely post! i've had a terrible day, had more bad news and feel really down in the dumps.. it's really cheered me up to read something so optimistic about life


    1. Oh, Hannah - hang in there! Things will get better! Thank you for being a reader and for leaving such a sweet comment. Sometimes I write posts just for me, and that's what this was... but to know that it touched you and lifted you up in your day today, makes me so happy! Sending love. T xx

  4. That was a different part of your life a long time ago, you're not that person anymore. You really have changed for yourself and thats the important thing.


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