Burgundy Holiday Look - Olivia Palermo x Banana Republic + Vintage Hat

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Sometimes I feel a little funny posting about fashion stuff when there are so many, more serious issues happening around us. I obviously have my thoughts (just read my previous post on sexual harassment in Hollywood), but there's nothing wrong with continuing on with the things that bring you joy. Am I right?

This time of year, and planning out out holiday looks is so fun and can bring so much joy! It's seriously my favorite time to get creative and dress up!

I hope I can bring you a little bit of fashion joy and inspiration, too. A friend gave me the best compliment the other day. She said she thinks about me sometimes when she's getting dressed for an event, and that I inspire her to be bold and be daring and even sexy sometimes!

It was seriously one of the best compliments I've ever received, (love you, Sage!) and makes me want to keep going with these posts, even though my life is so full and so busy with so many other creative endeavors.

From acting, into to fashion styling, into blogging and fashion videos, and now landing into the world of producing and directing...

Finding the simple joys in getting dressed is so important. Bonus, if it's something that makes you feel sexy, or bold or just plain confident... well, ladies... we can be unstoppable.

Silk top and Silk Skirt - Olivia Palermo for Banana Republic
No longer avail, but this silk cami dress has a similar feel.

I also love this burgundy lace cami, it would look great even with black denim!

Heels - Sole Society
Try a pop of burgundy with these similar merlot velvet sandals!

Hat - Vintage
This Janessa Leone Jana hat in burgundy is wider brimmed, but OMG so fab.

Paisley Printed Jacket - Banana Republic 
(Stay tuned for this full printed suit soon!)

Photos by SKCN Design

Sexual harassment, acting, and that girl I used to be

Thursday, November 30, 2017

A long time ago I decided that what I was sacrificing in order to be an actress wasn’t worth the potential rewards, even if those (let’s face it, highly unattainable) rewards could be great. I decided that what I was actually looking for in all of my years in the movies, and on those embarrassingly over sexualized magazine covers was two fold - I was simply looking for love and adoration, and financial security. Both of which I lacked in my childhood, and both of which were always fleeting in my years as an actress. 

Never consistent. 

Never sustainable. 

Like a dangling carrot I could only sometimes reach, but always left hungry in the end. 

I remember one weekend when I was flown away to do a horror film convention, signing autographs of myself scantily clad on 8 x 10 glossies and thinking... there has to be more than this. While doing a press interview I was asked the question of which director I’d love to work with in the future. I said Cameron Crowe. 

Everyone blinked. 

I never fit in that world and yet I continued to be offered work, so I continued to work. Who was I to turn it down? Who was I to say no? 

No thank you, Mr. Jackass B-movie, bondage-loving photographer, I don’t want to pose for this shoot wearing that. 

No, Mr. Casting Director, I don’t think it’s OK for me to take off my shirt in this audition because it’s necessary for you to “see my body” should I get the part and we have to film a love scene. (This happened.)

No, Mr. well-known headshot photographer I will not accept your offer to get free headshots if I "make it worth your while" simply because I asked if I could post-date my check. (I declined the offer.)

And whoever made that decision all those years ago at Femme Fatale magazine to make my first ever magazine cover into a zoomed-in shot of only my mouth licking an ice cream cone, transforming a once playful and artistic image shot by a high-fashion photographer into something completely over-sexualized - EF you. YOU are part of the problem in this industry.

Look, I understand you think that only “sex sells”, especially in the world of demons and demon slayers, and I understand that I was the one who said yes and posed in my underwear, and shot that scene, but there is a plethora of young and talented girls out there who never get the chance to be taken seriously, because we are simply saying yes. 

We say yes for survival. 

We say yes for the chances. 

We say yes for the opportunities. 

It infuriates me when I hear the judgmental tone toward these women who may or may not have said yes to a shoulder rub from Harvey Weinstein, or said yes to drinks after hours, or yes to a sexy photograph they later regretted. By the way, the above photographs I'm not ashamed of, or I wouldn't have posted them. But there are plenty of pictures out there that make me cringe when I think of my kids seeing them someday. There are decisions I made that make me cringe when I think about them. But dammit, I feel like there's no one looking out for these young girls.

The ones who say yes because they didn't have the upbringing or parents that you did. 

The ones who say yes to pay the rent and keep going. 

Stop judging them. 

Through the grace of God I eventually realized that enough yes’ could run me straight into a path I never wanted. I once knew a girl who’s yes’ from those movies and those “opportunities” took her straight into the path of pornography. And she was lovely. And talented. And it breaks my heart every time I think of her. And that is why I took myself out. Who knows... Maybe I was never good enough for the big leagues. Maybe I didn’t try for long enough, push hard enough. Maybe I didn't make it my every and only thing. I guess I’ll never know. But I knew that I had to start saying no - and fast, before I lost myself completely. 

Eventually, I had the guts to start writing, something that fulfilled me even if it didn’t matter to anyone else. But somehow, by some miracle, it started to matter. I had interest in something other than my physical being, interest from what was inside my brain and inside my heart and put down on paper. There was never a better feeling. But those moments were short-lived as well. I remember when I was asked to a meeting with a producer who had gotten some of my pages. As we sat in that meeting, me trying to hide my jitters in my more serious thrift store “writer outfit”, I hoped for that moment that could possibly change my life. All too soon, I was overtaken with the sinking feeling that he wasn’t there for my words. My fears were confirmed when he outright said “look, I have to be honest, your script is good, it needs some work, but it’s good... but I’m more interested in this beautiful woman sitting before me who could write such passionate love stories. I’d like to get to know you better.”

I almost said yes. I almost said yes to being taken out on a date with this man, yes to describing in detail why I wrote that one love scene and if I had personally had that experience, yes to him “helping me with my career”... yes to a relationship that could have maybe gotten my movie made. 

But I didn’t. I got up, walked out, and never looked back.

That script is still sitting on top of my files in my office, collecting dust with its faded, pink cover, my heart and soul inside it. 

I now know that the reason I was able to get up and walk out on that part of my life was because I had an even bigger dream - a family of my own. A chance to do things differently. To fill my daughter with so much love and confidence that she'd never let herself be treated some of the ways I allowed myself to be. To give her confidence in her appearance, but to always make it secondary, to her heart and to her beautiful mind. To raise my son to know the difference between right and wrong, flirting and harassment, respect and power abuse. 

As hard as it was sometimes, I look back on that time in my life with a lot of gratitude. It brought me here, and it wasn't all bad. There were a handful of lovely photographers and directors and actors I worked with (you know who you are) who treated me with respect and kindness. But I will say that as a whole - that industry needs a whole lot of shaking up. 

And bravo, it looks like it's happening. 

Holiday Look - Lace Top / Boyfriend Jeans / Statement Earrings

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Who's ready for Thanksgiving?! I'm looking at my calendar throughout the rest of the year and already seeing just about every spare moment booked up with events, holiday parties, and special time with friends, so I'm so happy to say that on Thanksgiving, it will just be me and my little family. No hosting, no stress. Which is so perfect. I usually love nothing more than a house full of people, but it's been such a crazy year that it feels good to know that I'll actually be relaxing. 

The hubs has our (tiny) turkey brining in the fridge, and I'll be making a homemade pumpkin pie tonight. Other than that, it will be an easy go tomorrow. 

Since we'll be making some pre dinner rounds to visit friends, I'm thinking I'll step it up (just) a notch with an outfit like this... Perfect for Turkey Day, or any other holiday event that requires some casual dressing up!

Baggy, boyfriend jeans (because, um... hello, second helpings) balanced nicely with a lace top and statement earrings. Bonus - you might already have these items in your closet!

 Happy Thanksgiving, and happy outfit inspiration!

Scroll Lace Mock Neck Top - Loft
Ripeed Boyfriend Jeans - Lucky Jeans
Jasmine Tassel Drop Earrings - Anthropologie

Photos & art direction by Steffi Neth at SKCN Design 

Holiday Look - Retro Waves, Red Lips, One-Sleeve Ruffle Dress

Thursday, November 16, 2017

I was thinking about how much I used to fashion blog (5 times a week!) and how with just one baby, and blogging and fashion styling being my only business, I could totally do so. Nowadays I'm lucky if I get a post up on Instagram daily, and a fashion post up once a month here!

I love that I can look back over several years here on this blog and see how my style has evolved, and how much I've grown professionally and personally. It's like a diary that I'll no doubt keep and show to my daughter some day. And man... I love what I do as a creative producer and director and all of the art I get to create, but sometimes I miss it just being about the fashion!

I'm going to try to post more in November and December because I LOVE the holidays and dressing up. It's like an excuse for me to rock my favorite vintage-esq style with retro waves and red lips and all things fancy and over dressed! I swear I was born in the wrong era. I love that in Los Angeles, pretty much anything goes for fashion, which leaves a lot of room for creativity... but there's something about the winter and holiday time that just feels magical to me and gets my creative juices flowing! 

I wore a Banana Republic one-shoulder dress, a vintage coat, Sole Society heels & earrings from Nordstrom Rack. As always, my favorite red lip is Nars in Heatwave. 

Little White Dress

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Who says you can't wear white after Labor Day? I feel like I'm loving everything basic, and clean lately. Those are the pieces that will last forever. And I'm tired of cheap, throwaway fashion. #canigetanamen?

I recently needed something sleek and chic for a work event and knew that I would be photographed a lot in it, so I went to a major go-to of mine - BCBG.

I immediately fell in love with this dress because it had such a tuxedo, cocktail dress feel, but was also super easy to wear. And I discovered a new love of mine - The Little White Dress! It's as timeless as the Little Black Dress and I know I'll wear this one for years to come.

Don't forget your self tanner (unless you're golden-complexion blessed, which I am not), and I decided to go with easy waves, strong eyes and nude lips - which I think plays nicely against white. (Click for my favorite, and the best faux lashes and an amazing nude lipstick!)

Nude sandals go with everything, almost as much as a super foxy, and supportive friend. (Thanks, Miranda!) 

This dress is no longer avail, but I found some super cute Little White Dress options for you below. (Click the pic to shop!) And check out my instagram for a fun behind the scenes video. 

When all else fails...

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Take a deep breath and start again.

When transitioning from my old company, Séchoir into rebranding and starting over again here at November Grey, I realized that I was going to need some (deep breaths) new content, fresh starts, website makeovers, carefully curated photos and videos, while still paying homage to the years of work (blood, sweat, and tears) I put into my old company.
So much has happened. Mostly tremendous growth - both professionally and personally. I look back now at all that was accomplished along side some pretty talented people, and I feel grateful for the journey. All of it. The good and the (freaking) hard.

What I'm soaking in now is that feeling... you know the one? Where you're on the verge of something great, brand-spanking new - fresh starts. Like moving into a new apartment, or cutting your hair, or finally organizing your closet and ridding your life of everything that no longer suits you.

That feeling.

That's the one.

Can't wait to share with you guys all that's on the agenda, and my new website (launching very soon)!

With love,

T xx

Photos by Steff Walk


A.L.C. silk blouse 
(I love these similar styles in high, mid, and low price points)

Motorcycle Jacket
(A good faux leather version from H&M + A real leather, broken-in version from Topshop)

Tanya Dempsey - Video & Stills Producer/Creative Director/Fashion Stylist

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Feeling grateful for all the wonderful opportunities I've had over the past several years. Doing what I love, from Los Angeles, to New York, Las Vegas and back. 

Check out my Creative Director/Fashion Stylist Reel: