It's a gift

Saturday, September 8, 2012

This first week home from the hospital has been beautiful and hard. It's been a rush of momentous moments - like watching my sweet Stella's smiling face as she gazed at her baby brother for the first time, noticing the tears in my husband's eyes when he saw them together for the first time, then thanked me, really thanked me for giving him a son... To the daily grind of being back home, juggling it all with very little help and the hubs and I trying to stay sane on little, to no sleep.  
The balance between newborn and toddler is going to be the biggest challenge. Nobody can settle my sweet girl's heart like the arms and attention of her mother and not one person on earth can do what needs to be done for our newborn son. They both depend on me so exclusively, that I've felt the weight of that responsibility so heavily over the past few days.
I want to do the best for the both of them and I'm trying, dear God I'm trying... but because I'm human (a very tired, worn-down human, still in physical pain and recovering from the marathon of labor and birth) inevitably something or someone will suffer.
It's sink or swim these days, but what a wonderful reason to be exhausted, to feel beat-up, to be overwhelmingly happy and SCARED TO DEATH at the same time. When it's harder than hard and I feel like I'm barely able to keep up or keep going, I try to remind myself that this is exactly what I've always dreamed of...
These are the days I longed for...
A family of my own.
My very own.
It's a gift.

... and I will be forever grateful. 

With love, 

T xx
(All images sourced through Pinterest)

4 comments:

  1. This is beautiful. Motherhood is something I used to dream of wanting. Now, it scares me and I don't know if I will be able to do it someday. But, having a supportive husband must be so incredibly helpful. I cannot imagine doing it alone. Yet, women do.

    The photos are lovely. It is such a natural part of life, yet, I sometimes think it is so strange. How odd to have a child living inside one's body.

    -Kirsten
    mylifetintedpink.blogspot.com

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  2. This is one of the most beautiful things I've ever read. You are an amazing mother, sister and friend.

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  3. The hard work is worth it even forbthenglimmer of a smile x

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  4. You have captured so many of my same sentiments...so fortunate to have this family to call my own...but the past two weeks have been HARD...and some days I am not sure I can do it...thankfully I have an amazing hubs and family around to help when I am feeling overwhelmed...but the simplest things...(like getting out of the house) have become SO difficult...It is going to get easier, of this I am sure...but it is really hard in this moment. And I am tired...so very very very tired, ha!
    Hope all is well.
    C

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Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. I love hearing from you guys! If you ask a question, I will be sure to respond back here. xx

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